http://whatofthewhitneys.shutterfly.com/
We will be posting lots of pictures of Tabitha on our private site (link above).
Email me if you want to have access to these photos! She is pretty cute! 
After two weeks in the NICU, Tabitha was discharged and came home with us on Saturday, October 3!! We are ecstatic to have her home! Incidentally, Kelly’s parents and sister came that weekend to meet Tabitha, so we think she got her act together in order not to miss the party!
You probably recall that Tabitha was having big problems coordinating her eating and with aspirating her food. These were developmental issues that should have been in place at birth and needed to develop naturally, not something we could teach her. The doctors kept telling us this was an unusual issue in full term newborns, and they were trying to find a root cause or issue that resulted in a range of consults, work-ups, tests, and teams scratching their heads. Every test kept coming back normal or with a small anomaly that wouldn’t really account for this problem. They kept saying it might just be a rare immaturity that would just heal on its own, but they needed to test everything to be certain it wasn’t a broader issue.
After preparing us that Tabitha might have to stay in the Newborn ICU for another month or two while they ran more tests, our neonatologist sent her for a follow up swallow study on Thursday this week (the test that was showing the aspirating and was preventing her from eating by mouth). She passed!! She had developed the ability to swallow without aspirating!!
This meant she was qualified to try bottle feeding again and took to bottles like a champ! She coordinated her breathing, sucking and swallowing beautifully! And she was hungry, downing bottle after bottle! They kept her through to Saturday to make certain she wasn’t having any further issues, but by noon we were in a car driving her home
We are both in a state of shock that she was released. On Wednesday we were being mentally prepared to have her there for two or more months, or for them to have to install a stomach tube if she wasn’t able to eat by mouth. She had been having daily studies and tests at Children’s Hospital and the Brigham and Women’s Hospital, and it all has suddenly just ended.
So, thank you all again for all the love and support. We believe that the prayers and good thoughts, love and care that were sent our way concentrated into some powerful healing and development for Tabitha’s little throat. (If you are reading the new Dan Brown book you will agree with this conclusion).
We can’t wait for her to meet you all!!!
Thank you thank you thank you
Love
Kelly & Evan and Tabitha!
I just want to preface this letter with: This is not the email you were expecting from us.
As you all know, Tabitha Jane Whitney was born on 9-19-09 at 6:12pm weighing 6lbs 12 oz and measuring 18 inches. She has dark hair and dark eyes that look blue-green-purple-brown alternately. She is adorable!
You were probably expecting to hear a little from us about how the birth process went. In a nutshell: it was an insane experience, much harder than we thought. After 41 weeks of pregnancy, we went in to the Brigham for me to be induced on Thursday, 9-17. It took about 42 hours to get my labor going via medical means, then pitocin was added and within three hours I asked for an epidural. We did hypnobirthing scripts to try to stay calm and relaxed through the process. However, the labor did not progress and I ultimately had a c-section around 6:00pm. Evan was a champ and with me through every step of the way. It wasn’t a great experience because the anesthesia stopped working halfway through, but what’s done is done. My recovery has been bad because of sciatica down both legs, especially hard because my knees are having trouble locking into place; this is all from fluid build up in my legs, and hopefully will be over soon. It’s very painful to walk around and to sleep.
You probably also were expecting to hear a bit about Tabitha or “Tabs” or “Tabby Cat/Kitty Cat” as we have been calling her. She is an adorable, delightful, charming little baby. When she cries it actually sounds a little like she’s singing the note “laaa” at various octaves and levels of intensity She has these incredibly delicate little hands with long fingers that she moves around in little waves especially when she’s content. She looks like a little cherub when sleeping, especially because she was a c-section baby with an un-squished head. She has completely captured our hearts and just thinking about her makes us burst with happiness.
Here’s the unexpected bit, and the reason we have been so out of touch with everyone but our immediate families (parents and sisters). On the night she was born, shortly after birth, Tabs stopped breathing for a few seconds and started to turn blue. She was revived quickly and easily, but was taken to the nicu (newborn intensive care unit) for observation. That same night around 11pm she had another much more dramatic episode wherein she stopped breathing completely and had to be revived. She was admitted to the nicu and has been there since her birth.
As they began to try to come up with a diagnosis, it was recognized that she had a few breathing related problems: first, she was desaturating her oxygen whenever sleeping on her back (which means she would suddenly stop circulating oxygen and start turning blue). Second, she was unable to coordinate the necessary actions for eating, which are sucking-swallowing-breathing. She would suck-suck-suck from a bottle forgetting (or not knowing) to breathe. Third, she was aspirating her food, which means that some of the liquid going to her stomach would go into her airways. Babies do not have the reflex that adults have where they cough-cough-cough if something goes down the wrong pipe, so if she was home with us with this problem, we could actually give her milk and she could potentially drown.
I’m happy to report that she has overcome the first problem in the first five days of life, and is now sleeping comfortably on her back all the time. However, she is still having challenges coordinating her eating, and she was also confirmed to be aspirating her food at a ‘modified barium swallow test’ yesterday, which means more tests are needed to figure out the aspiration issue and help her overcome these challenges.
So that’s where we are. As you can imagine, we have been in a state of utter shock at having our full-term newborn end up in the nicu. Yesterday we did one of the hardest things in our lives: came home from the hospital without our baby. Our nicu welcomes calls 24/7 from parents, so we called several times during the night (with Kelly crying) to find out how Tabs was doing, and rushed back this morning to scoop her up. The nicu nurses have done all these incredible things for us, including taking little pictures of her for us to bring home, encouraging us to change-feed-dress her when we’re there, and offering us tissues every time Kelly starts crying. They welcome us there as much as we want, and we plan to go there to rock and sit with her for hours until she comes home.
Her prognosis is very good, because she will likely outgrow these issues and be fine to come home. We do not have a timeline for her to come home at this point. We are glad that she is in one of the best newborn intensive care units in the country at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, with access to the amazing pediatric specialists at the famous Boston Children’s Hospital through a corridor.
The reason we sent a letter first is because everyone’s reaction is “oh my God” and a bit of a freak out. This is hard for us to hear – we want positive loving messages right now, because it is the only way we will get through this time.
We would like to ask for prayers and good wishes from you, and would love to read emails of support (especially ones about newborns that did great in nicu’s around the country). Feel free to address these to both of us or one of us. We really can’t handle incoming phone calls or text messages right now (we can’t even have our phones on in the nicu). Some friends had offered to bring us food after the birth of the baby, and we would still love to accept any healthy meals that people can drop off.
Finally, while this situation is certainly not a secret, we do feel that it is somewhat private, and would appreciate you respecting that we aren’t sharing this news with everyone (aka facebook updates, etc).
Many thanks for your love and care,
Kelly and Evan
We are so excited to announce the birth of Tabitha Jane Whitney born on 09-19-09 at 6:12pm, weighing 6 lbs and 12 oz, measuring 18 inches!!
41 Weeks
Well here we are. It is the morning of week 41 of the pregnancy, and we are going to the hospital this morning for me to be induced. We are very excited to finally meet Buttercup! Last night, Evan and I ordered in Thai food and watched a few comedy tv shows. I told him I feel like I’m in denial about what’s happening today, and he just replied kindly to me that I’m doing what needs to be done at that moment – trying to relax and enjoy myself before the labor and delivery.
I admit that I was really disappointed to schedule the induction this week because I kept hoping the baby would pick her own day to be born. When I called the doctor to schedule the induction I just burst into tears because it meant that the relaxed hypnobirthing process that we’ve been practicing wouldn’t happen, and the totally natural process wouldn’t be my experience. I will have a more medicalized birth, with an IV in my arm and a blood pressure cuff on my other arm the whole time. I will wear a fetal monitor around my waist through the whole thing and be in a hospital bed instead of my own bed. On the other hand, I will get to do my labor all in one place, not having to race to the hospital (an hour away during rush hour) when things hit a crescendo. We will be monitored the whole time, so I don’t have to worry about whether I’m alright or the baby is alright – other people will keep an eye on that and we can just focus on doing the hypnobirthing relaxations, breathing, and meditations.
It’s funny the way I really thought the baby would be early, then hoped she’d be on time. Then when it became clear she wasn’t coming yet, I kept thinking – well she’s definitely late, but how can I schedule a day for her? What if she wants to be born on Aunt Ellen’s birthday (9/21)? Or she wants to be a first day of fall baby (9/22)? Or she really wants to be a libra, not a virgo (9/23)? Who am I to pick her birthday?!
By the time we get to 41 weeks though, we start to get into more risks and complications for a baby. We don’t want her to start her life on the outside with a health struggle, so we are heeding the doctors’ advice and inducing today. My friend Johanna pointed out to me that if I feel a struggle with not doing a completely natural birth then I can resolve that after the birth, but if I wait to see if she emerges on her own and the baby ends up with a medical problem, I can’t resolve that – it will be up to the doctors. My likelihood of a c-section will also go up the longer we wait as the baby gets bigger.
So here we are – induction day! We went to the hospital yesterday for an exam and to take a pill that started the process, and today we go back to the hospital. We will stay there until we have our baby! The process will be like any other birth – it could be over in a day or two or three. We are hoping she arrives today or tomorrow.
This morning we will stop off at Verna’s in Cambridge to get donuts for the nursing staff (a clear and blatant bribe), then head on over. My sister will come up from New Haven and stay at our apartment this weekend for her home base, and we hope she’ll be able to come to the hospital and be there as much as possible to see the birth of her niece.
Looking forward to sharing the details with all my friends and family who read this blog! We will be imagining you all cheering for us through this process today.
Love,
Kelly
I’m writing this on Tuesday, Sept 15 and we hit the 40 week due date on Friday, Sept 11. So now we are in a serious game of waiting for the baby. The doctors are keeping an eye on her, and won’t go too long before they decide to induce. We are trying to keep sane by being really busy and taking advantage of the last minute opportunities to organize things in the house.
As expected we have been trying any labor inducers people recommend. For example, spicy food. As I recently told my dad, I have had jalapenos, Tabasco, Red Hot, scotch bonnet, Korean hot sauce, kimchee, green Mexican chilies, Thai chilis, wasabi, and will probably try a Vindaloo for good measure today. My tour of the world’s hot sauces seems to be a farce. (Though quite tasty).
Anyways, the nursery is ready, the bags are packed, the car seat is installed, and we are ready to go. All the women due around the same time as me (or a day or two after me) that we know have already given birth, which seems vastly unjust and unfair.
So forgive us if we’re out of touch right now with most people. We appreciate the calls and check-ins that people are doing, but can’t bear to tell another person that the baby just hasn’t come yet and we don’t know when she’ll decide to! No one wants her safe and healthy arrival more than we do!
We went to the doctor today, and she says I am not dilated, but am about 25% effaced. This means the cervix is not opening yet, but is getting thinner/softer. (Now we all feel uncomfortable). You can be 90% effaced for weeks (as I just witnessed with friend Kira) and still not have a baby! Other than contractions (aka Braxton Hicks or Practice Surges), I am not showing many signs of the baby wanting to come out just yet. However, at our obstetrics practice they will induce when we get to 41 weeks, so we will be having her in the next two weeks no matter what! Very exciting.
We are ready. Evan is (as of this afternoon) now officially on paternity leave, and the nursery is just about done – we just have to hang some things on the walls. In the last week, we received some amazing boxes of clothing and all sorts of baby gear from Evan’s sister Blair and from my childhood friend PJ. For furniture, Blair sent us her daughters’ crib, my mom sent a wardrobe and dresser from my own nursery (which Evan has sanded and repainted), and Evan assembled a changing table that we bought. So many friends and family have given us baby gear, books, blankets, quilts, toys, etc. She is not going to want for anything that first year. In short, we are generally very excited and eager to go!
We truly feel loved and watched over by our family and friends. We are grateful for the big welcome this little baby is receiving!
Physically I am very tired, and not able to do much at this point, though I did manage to do quite a bit of housework today (folding adorable baby laundry, making PJ’s beef stroganoff for dinner, moving around some light furniture that couldn’t possibly wait for Evan, making the bed). I also called my mom and whined about how tired I am and how much I want to have the baby. She was very sympathetic, thankfully. I continue to “train” for the birth by doing hypnobirthing scripts with Evan, and I watch a daily rerun of Magnum PI.
Tonight is a full moon so we are hoping this moves things along!
273 Days
I have been having increasing problems with carpal tunnel syndrome, a common problem for pregnant women in the third trimester. Everything swells up in pregnant ladies. I noticed a few weeks ago that my right hand had two numb fingertips and that I was having wrist fatigue. The doctor confirmed carpal tunnel and told me to wear wrist braces at night and as much as I could stand in the day…
from the trustworthy babycenter.com:
Why am I having tingling and numbness in my hands during pregnancy?
These sensations are most likely caused by carpal tunnel syndrome. Although you probably associate this condition with people whose jobs require repetitive hand movements (such as data processors, computer programmers, and assembly-line workers), it’s also more prevalent in pregnant women.
Symptoms may include numbness, tingling, burning, pain, or a dull ache in the fingers, hand, wrist, and even up the arm to the shoulder. In severe chronic cases, your hand may feel clumsy or weak.
Symptoms usually affect both hands and can appear at any time, but they’re more likely to begin or worsen in the second half of pregnancy when women tend to retain more fluid. The symptoms usually go away gradually after you give birth, as the swelling from pregnancy subsides.
What causes carpal tunnel syndrome during pregnancy?
The carpal tunnel is a bony canal formed by the wrist bones on three sides and a ligament that runs across the wrist on the other. The swelling and fluid retention that’s so common during pregnancy can increase the pressure in this relatively narrow and inflexible space, compressing the median nerve that runs through it.
The median nerve gives sensation to the thumb and the index, middle, and half of the ring finger and is responsible for movement of a muscle at the base of the thumb. Pressure on this nerve is what causes the symptoms.
Oops… forgot to post her milestones since she’s full term now! From babycenter.com:
Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she’s over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you’ll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.
Wondering what color your baby’s eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she’s born with brown eyes, they’ll likely stay brown. If she’s born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she’s 9 months old. That’s because a child’s irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she’s born, but they usually won’t get “lighter” or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)
